Social Media Are Hot, But Not For Everyone

Two conversations with two of my sisters over the last couple of weeks served to remind me of something that we 21st century communicators often forget. Social media are hot and are changing the way people and organizations communicate — but they’re not for everyone.

You don’t have to convince me of the power of social media. I use them all the time, I’ve helped clients understand how to use the tools, I’ve written and spoken about them. In fact, you might say I was an “early adopter” back in the ’90s when “news groups” and “discussion boards” were as mysterious to some folks as Twitter was six months ago. But even then, as communication technology pundits like my friend Shel Holtz were predicting the scenario that’s playing out today, I believed there would always be a place for more traditional media like print and even face-to-face. (As technologically progressive as Shel is, he has always held this belief, too.)

At a family gathering on Memorial Day, I was teasing my younger sister (who is in her early 40s) about not being on Facebook. I had reconnected with one of her high-school buddies, who asked me “what is her problem” for not joining the 200 million people in the world who are Facebook users. “I don’t have the time!” she exclaimed and I knew she was right. She has her hands full IRL (in real life) with three kids and lots of activities.

Then, over the weekend, I was talking with my oldest sister (who is in her mid 50s) about how I use Facebook not only for personal pleasure but as a business networking tool as well. “I guess it makes sense for you,” she said, “but I just don’t know where I’d find the time to keep up with it.”

I believe my sisters are not alone in their perception that Facebook is — as even some of its fans say — a “time suck.” I also believe, however, that some people haven’t jumped into new media because they prefer other communication methods. Believe it or not, there are some people who actually enjoy the tactile experience of reading a publication. Many people are energized by the human-to-human contact that only face-to-face communication can provide and they just don’t get the same experience through a computer.

We communication professionals would do well to remember this. I know some communication consultants who do nothing except speak, write and consult about social media. That’s fine — we need leaders in our profession who will help us navigate the ins and outs of the technology and who will advocate for its adoption by individuals and organizations. But social media are not the end-all and be-all of communication today. We need to balance the benefits and features of social media with those of other vehicles. We need to understand our clients’ business issues, know what communication tools are available and best-suited to address those issues and recommend solutions with clarity and purpose.

While hundreds of millions of social media users can’t be wrong, occasionally even they would like nothing more than to peruse a publication or talk with a person face to face.

When Worlds Collide

It’s a bit risky bringing together friends from different parts of your world in the hopes that they’ll get along as well as you get along with each of them. It has the potential to go really well or to end up as the basis of an epic disaster, “When Worlds Collide.”

I love colliding my worlds. I’ve thrown parties where I invited personal friends, professional colleagues, people with whom I attend church and relatives. I’ve seen people make connections they otherwise never would have made. Selfishly, it’s also fun to have all the different people I care about in one place at one time.

Friday night I had the chance to bring together some people I knew would hit it off — and, boy, did they. Steve and Cindy Crescenzo were in town for Steve’s “Creative Communications” seminar and we planned months ago to have dinner afterward. I’ve known Steve for 15 years and I’ve loved getting to know Cindy since she came into his life. We all see each other from time to time at conferences and we keep up with each other by e-mail and Facebook, but we’ve never had the opportunity to just hang out and spend some quality time together. Here was one of those rare chances. I knew we’d be doing a lot of laughing that night.

A last-minute addition, though, made that dinner even more special. I’ve been seeing a terrific woman named Skyler who, among her many outstanding qualities, has a sense of humor as weird as mine. That’s pretty weird. We’ve forged a friendship that, as far as I can tell, is built primarily on low-brow humor. So, of course, I knew I had to introduce her to Steve and Cindy.

Let’s just say the sparks flew. It was instant chemistry, a beautiful thing. These three friends with seemingly nothing in common except their incessant teasing of me (well, Cindy doesn’t tease me, so I love her more than the other two) immediately bonded. For three hours we traded stories and laughed so hard our sides hurt. We ended the night with a group hug on the sidewalk. It was so sweet it almost made me sick. Old relationships were strengthened that night and new relationships were built.

All of this got me thinking about the workplace. If total strangers can forge such fast bonds over dinner, why does it take months, sometimes years, for people to get to the point where they can work together productively? I know there are obvious differences between having a fun dinner and moving a work project forward, but it seems to me we could adapt some of the lessons from our personal lives and apply them to our work lives:

• Assume the best of others. Too many times we start off assuming the worst about other people. Granted, for whatever reason, Steve and Cindy like me and were eager to meet my friend Skyler. And for whatever reason, probably because I’m such a suave and intriguing man of mystery, Skyler wanted to meet my friends. But I think a lot of it has to do with the naturally positive nature of these three people. They assumed the best and looked forward to a positive encounter.
• Look for what unites you instead of what divides you. The only things these three people had in common at the beginning of the night were me (known to them) and a love of laughter (known to me). That was enough to get the ball rolling. As the night wore on, we discovered more things we had in common — including a common goal, which was to eat and drink just short of too much.
• Stop looking out for number one so much. This is one of the most common problems in the workplace. People are more concerned about how they look, about getting their share of the credit, and about advancing their own agendas that they miss out on the blessings that could come their way by being a bit more humble. Steve, Cindy and Skyler are among the most kind-hearted, down-to-earth, unassuming people I know. They are the kind of people you’d want to take to dinner and they are the kind of people you’d want on your team at work.
• Lighten up. There’s a time to be serious, but we allow those times to overtake us. I’m convinced if there was more laughter in most workplaces, a lot more work would get done. In fact, I’ve seen it happen. For two and a half years I worked with a group of people that knew how to laugh. They were among the most productive years of my career so far.

Colliding worlds, bringing total strangers together under these principles, turned out to be creative and rejuvenating. I wonder what other principles from our personal relationships could be applied to our work lives so they could be infused with a breath of fresh air?